Church 'N Statement

More Wisdom

Every author of a popular book receives self-indulgent letters from idle readers, but only Tim Russert was wise enough to turn a profit on this gluttonous material. (Actually, gluttony reminds me that Michael Moore turned a similar trick.) When "Lil' Russ" decided to spend an entire book bragging about his father, people immediately realized that they, too, had a father worthy of penned accolades. Russert then compiled the sappiest specimens - and all in time for Father's Day. Pure genius.

What my readers don't yet know is that Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons is only the beginning of an entirely new genre. Below are some of the other upcoming titles that present letters written in response to previous, or current, bestsellers.

Wisdom of Harry Potter Parents share testimonials of illiterate children forsaking Twain, Fitzgerald and Harper Lee for the well of true literary enlightenment, J. K. Rowling.

The Devil Wears Wisdom Overpaid executive assistants share their desire to bite the hand that feeds their miserable existence and provides their sole inspiration.

Wisdom in a Million Little Pieces Cattle ranchers and Hermes employees commiserate with James Frey over cataclysm inflicted by the wrath of Oprah.

Wisdom on Beauty Women of diverse ethnic backgrounds proclaim to British novelist Zadie Smith the positive effects of being attractive and Cambridge educated (or Ivy League, stateside) vis a vis less-educated women of similar ethnic makeup.

Wisdom of the Night Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel shares similarly oppressive narratives from a new Oprah audience, including tales of culturally-induced low self esteem and husbands neglecting the needs of their wives.

Wisdom from a Flat World Victims of steamroller and other industrial accidents involving large rolling apparatus write New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman about their own experiences in a flat world.

Wisdom of Freakonomics Not even Steven D. Levitt could have extrapolated this many letters and emails! Women reflect on the many criminal misadventures their unwanted children would have partaken in had they not been aborted fifteen to twenty years ago.

posted by Stand-up Chris @ 10:10 AM